I'm doing so/so today. Not feeling so well this morning. I think I need to occupy my mind. He is definitely cake eating and I know that I have allowed him. I just feel like I hate him so much right now and yet still love him. And then it makes me think how much do I love myself. I just want this feeling to pass today and to get back somewhat even keal. Before I left last week H was all i was thinking about every minute. It was truly sickening. So just need to focus on me, but it so easier said than done. God, I got my Masters degree and it was easier than this. I think if I could just go away for like a year I would come back so much better. But my house and job and the house has negative equity now so it is so not feasible to sell now. Maybe I'm just trying to run away but it would work and it would feel so good.
