Of course I did not get too much sleep at all. I realize that my breakdown was caused by the re-established communication with H. I need to go dark again. God, I wish I could be completely dark more so I wish I could just erase this man out of my mind. I hate him so much right now. He's so mean. Who the hell does this to a friend/someone they have supposedly loved for so long. To hell with that little bitch and him. I need to look after Vic. I just wish I didn't feel so bad rigt now.
So question, is it better to not be friends with our WS? I mean are they really our friends if they could treat us this way. I think if a platonic friend did to me what H has done I wold have felt like this is not a true friend at all. No one hurts the one they love. You protect the people you love. I know very well who H loves and it just isn't me. I definitely will work on breaking communication with him, out of sight out of mind. He does it well. He has nothing to do with me and seems to be just fine, happy as can be. Anyway, just needed to vent and get things off my mind. I will try to make myself busy today so that I can put this all in the back of y mind.
