No, you're not, but you shouldn't have woken your daughter up. Tell your wife that your daughter is angry, that you've ENCOURAGED her to call her mother (and to take her mother's calls), but that you can't force her to and that your wife shouldn't either.
If she can't understand that, perhaps you should get some family counseling.
The phrase I used on my wife (who was similarly upset with our D18, b/c D18 was VERY upset and disappointed with her mother) is that "You don't get to dictate how she feels about all this."
