Things seem to have taken a slight turn in direction this week with D13. Three night this week she has supposed to have been staying at Hs. She changed her mind at the last minute Once it was b/c she 'couldn't be bothered', once it was b/c she 'wanted an early night and I can't do that there as I have to sleep on the settee' and lastly it was b/c H rang to find out when she was coming and she was out with friends at the time. He hassled her about an answer saying he needed to know b/c he and OW were going to a party and MIL was going to take D13 to the cinema. It must be plain as day to anyone NOT in MLC why she chose not to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately I had to face H this week at S16s parents evening. I'd been at uni all day and couldn't leave early as I had my final exam (yay). I got there as soon as I could but H was making S16 hassle me about my whereabouts every 2 mins. It was two bus rides from the train station. He was in a car. Anyway it turned out that one of the teachers mentioned that S16 had been skipping lessons again and that H had received a letter from the attendance officer. I made it quite clear to her that I had no previous knowledge of this. Afterwards I asked H when this had been received and he said over two weeks ago I politely asked him to at least inform of things like this if they ever happen again. D13 had left some of her stuff at Hs house the night before and I asked if she had been round to collect it. He said no but then went on to say that he was intending sitting her down to work out a more rigid schedule for when she stayed with him. I gently pointed out that I should be part of that conversation also. He asked me what my 'needs' were and I said that I needed him to be flexible as I've got a lot of training to deliver in the evenings at the moment and that I wasn't prepared to have her every weekend. He said he was thinking of telling D13 that she should go to him every Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night. Even though I was furious I did not show it. I just simply said no we need to rotate YOU need a weekend to yourself and so do I (I chose my order carefully!). He just shrugged but I could tell from the look on his face (little boy disappointed) that he wasn't happy. If he wants to resume parental responsibilities he does it properly and not when it suits him.
Anyway towards the end he was getting really anxious b/c we had been there longer than he had told OW (as you always are at these events) and it was creeping closer to when she would have the meal on the table. He was encouraging S16 to skip the remaining visits with the teachers but S16 was most insistent that we waited and saw them (if he hedn't I would have suggested h go and S16 stay with me to see them). By the time we finally left he was like a cat on hot bricks! As I mentioned before he was in a car. I was two bus rides away from home (one of them long). We live within 10 minutes of each other. Any decent human being would have at least offered me a lift home BUT not H.
I assume it was down to the long day I had had, the exam which I sat which was envigilated poorly and the stress of the encounter with H but by the time I got to the second bus stop I was experiencing visual problems as the result of a migraine. Eventually when I was about 2/3rds of the way home I had to ring D13 and ask her to meet me at the bus stop as I couldn't see well enough to walk the short distance home from the stop.
Although the visual disturbances have gone and I did go to work yesterday the remains of the migraine are still here this morning.
In addition to all this I had another letter from my L telling that despite a letter a week this month and a telephone call she still has had no response from H. Is it any wonder I am under so much pressure?
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Once it was b/c she 'couldn't be bothered', once it was b/c she 'wanted an early night and I can't do that there as I have to sleep on the settee' and lastly it was b/c H rang to find out when she was coming and she was out with friends at the time. He hassled her about an answer saying he needed to know b/c he and OW were going to a party and MIL was going to take D13 to the cinema. It must be plain as day to anyone NOT in MLC why she chose not to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I politely asked him to at least inform of things like this if they ever happen again. D13 had left some of her stuff at Hs house the night before and I asked if she had been round to collect it. He said no but then went on to say that he was intending sitting her down to work out a more rigid schedule for when she stayed with him. I gently pointed out that I should be part of that conversation also. He asked me what my 'needs' were and I said that I needed him to be flexible as I've got a lot of training to deliver in the evenings at the moment and that I wasn't prepared to have her every weekend. He said he was thinking of telling D13 that she should go to him every Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night. Even though I was furious I did not show it. I just simply said no we need to rotate YOU need a weekend to yourself and so do I (I chose my order carefully!). He just shrugged but I could tell from the look on his face (little boy disappointed) that he wasn't happy. If he wants to resume parental responsibilities he does it properly and not when it suits him. 
