Oops!!.......I think I've dropped the rope!!

[Silent Chrleader]

Was supposed to be on the road to CA right now, but big S17 issues has resulted in him "going to live his life his way".....somewhere else.

So, now I am driving to CA by myself. This is a big 180 "growth" thing for me......and H sees it as such. I hate that it has come to this. I love my son with all my heart, but I can't keep giving him more and more "chances". He really needs to feel some consequences this time.

H got the truck all ready for me with the GPS and Satelite radio.....and has told D24 and fiance, who will be "holding down the fort" here at the apartment and the house, that if they need anything, don't hesitate to call him.

Things are happening at work that are annoying me. They are "cracking down" on time issues and such. You have to take your lunch and breaks at a certain time........no eating at your desk......no using your computer for "personal business" or "recreation"........no talking about personal matters with other employees.........it's so freakin' stuffy, it's stifling!! I've been with the company 10 years and they pay well, and I certainly can't afford to loose my job now, but I really hate this!!! I can't stand to be micro-managed. I am an adult and do my job quickly and accurately and take on "extra curricular" duties too on my own initiative! But, not anymore!

I also don't anticipate seeing J down in CA anymore. I sent him an e-mail saying that I am no longer willing to entertain relationships in my life where I feel like I am the "sole participant", but that I wished him well......

I am going to go to bed now and get up and get on the road at about 2am, so I can be at my neices house in Lemoore early tomorrow evening......I actually don't feel like going anymore, but I'll be darned if I'm going to sit at home on my vacation!! Although I could spend a lot of cuddly time with my GD! But, no......I think this will be a good experience for me.....on the road and only myself to please......very much a 180 for me.