It sounds like you have a good handle on things. Remember she does feel the guilt. One of the mistakes I would unknowingly make would be to add to it. Until I got hit with a bean pole lol. It wasn't too bad of one though.
Stay upbeat and positive around her, if you need to vent, go off or whatever do it way away from her and the kids. Try your best to show no negativity and keep on getting closer to those kids man, they need you now more than ever.
