Hang in there sweetie. It is about to be the weekend and it may seem like you don't get many posts. Please explain a little more of your sitch so that others can better give advice. Read the entire book cover to cover. I was where you are almost 3 years ago. I love your first line. I FELT THE SAME WAY! Like I had to use a ladle to gather myself up off the floor. Trust me you will get better. Keep posting here and keep reading.
I did end up turning things around and saved my M. There are many beautiful people here who will help you. I don't always post daily, but I will keep my eye on you as well.
I lived in Denver for a year . The Mountains are breath taking and the weather there is to die for. I loved it. Take care and God bless, Ali