Clearly it's been too long since I posted since I had to go back and catch up on my own thread! I'm not sure if this is of any interest to anyone as it's nothing to do with H, but for my own record I'll post events with CEO at and after the ball (be warned- no progress in that sitch!)
So, the ball was good fun. I wore the red dress in the end as BFF was wearing a black dress and otherwise we'd have matched. Also, wearing no knickers is always a but risky when you're not sure how you're getting home. I have to save that for when I'm not drinking anything It was a fun evening, although the ball itself was a bit odd. In total 6 people that evening either asked if CEO and I were married, or said we should be married if we weren't already (to him). Clearly there must be vibes coming off us that make people think that....
Since the ball we've had three conversations about the evening. In the first and second we had a 'discussion' about me being too flirtatious which went a bit like this.
CEO: I can't believe you flirted with (business client we need to cultivate) Me: I didn't flirt that much, and I thought we needed to get him on side? CEO (indignant): Well, how would you feel if I'd just went up to BFF and hugged her? Me: Well, you did. CEO: And? How did that make you feel? Me: Like I was going to kill her and then kill you. (said dead-pan) CEO: See?
The other conversation was about a guy who CEO thought was eyeing me up during the evening. Twice, CEO has said to me that he has this guy's card if I'm interested in dating him. The third time CEO said that the guy came to talk to him because he was wondering how he (CEO) had managed to get such a beautiful and hot wife (me- ha!). That led to a discussion about people thinking we're married.
After the ball things continued between us as normal- little fights, little resolutions. We've been working really hard the past couple of weeks, which has been a bit stressful. we also went to watch England play football together. That was good fun and we had a great time, but still with no progress. After that I decided I wasn't going to respond to him any more other than as a boss, because I do think that this has gone on such a long time and if he wants to ask me out he should. And if he doesn't he should treat me as a boss treats his employee.
The result of that change in my behaviour was a 'discussion' on the phone about whether or not I need him, me insisting that I don't and him insisting that I do. It wasn't getting resolved on the phone so he ended up coming out to buy me lunch and tell me all the ways in which he looks after me. He then spent the afternoon ending every sentence in 'love' or 'darling'. At one point he called me 'My Lady', which is something I always used to hope my H would call me when I was younger (not H H, but any H, if you know what I mean? Like a medieval courtly love thing). It's almost as though he knows just what to say that will break my resolve, so I'm glad of the Easter break this weekend.
On the H front there's been NC for 2/3 weeks now. The D papers are ready though. I'm going to send them to the court when I'm ready. Maybe Tuesday, but I don't like to put a deadline on it;)
And on the other men front, hot guy whose pants I saw took me out for coffee on Monday and was telling me how he's intimidated to speak to me when CEO is around. (CEO doesn't like other men speaking to me when he's there and is happy to say that !?). And another guy from the same office bought me some chocolates on Wednesday, which was totally unexpected but nice. I don't know why none of these guys will ask me out. Although having said that there's not much point in the 'across the corridor' guys asking me out as it wouldn't lead to anything long term and I'm not bothered about dating for the sake of dating.
Tonight I'm starting a Quantum Yoga course, which should be fun. I've also started looking into a holiday for this year, which is really exciting- I'm trying to decide between China (for the eclipse), St Lucia (for a body holiday) or the Galapagos (for science!). I'm also redecorating the flat, which is the best of all. I had a plumber in to quote for replumbing the heating system and moving the boiler last weekend, and am going to buy some new kitchen units on Monday. At first I was thinking of getting a builder to install the kitchen, but I think I'll do it myself for a bit of a project instead. I haven't done any DIY in a couple of years and I'm itching to change this place- can't wait!
So much going on there! You might not see it that way, but there is so much emotion going on there. CEO is seriously HOT for you Lisa. No man behaves that was if he isn't interested. Seriously, what do you feel toward him? Is it possible that you could be the one woman in the world that would make him feel 'inadequate'? He is obviously quite assured of himself except in regards to you. Why did you keep telling him you don't need him? Were you able to agree with his assesment of the ways he looks after you? Any of his points make sense?
You know yourself, file when you feel ready. No rush of course. How long does it take to finalize a D there? Just curious.
Quantum Yoga? What is that?
Ok, if I have a vote on your holiday (and even if I don't - HA), I vote for St. Lucia. Absolutely georgeous, relaxing, and the people are more than friendly. Maybe you could find an 'island boy' while you're there to make the stay even more interesting! Ok, so my evil side is taking over now.
When you say kitchen units, do you mean things like stove, oven, sink, etc? You'll install them yourself??????? Brave girl! Electric or natural gas? Electric I could do myself, but I won't mess with the natural gas. I'd blow the house up!
Oh.....to be young and beautiful and have the world at my feet......again, I'll live vicariously through your many adventures Lisa. I have no doubt you will have them!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
CEO really is confusing some days isn't he lol. Definitely doesn't act like your boss, but won't ask you out since you have a business R. Complicated lol.
LOVE the plans for redecorating.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Michelle- when I first scanned your post and you'd written R I automatically thought of your 'R' as opposed to an R. How intertwined you've both become!!
Handsome- did you see Tiger's shot on the 18th last night that hit the tree? Unbelieveable round he had apart from the last 2 holes. Next year I'm coming to watch the Masters with you!
Mishka- thankyou for the vote! I like the idea of an island boy, although I'm not entirely sure what that is. I'll imagine something and not commit it to words in case I embarrass myself! So, working through from easiest to hardest with answers...
D- I think takes a minimum of 16 weeks in the UK, dpeending on how quickly the forms go back and forth. I'm definitely sending the first papers tomorrow so let's see how long it takes for me and STBXH.
Quantum Yoga- is a form of 'dynamic' yoga that is supposed to train you to recognise internal imbalances and modify practise to be able to address those as you work. I used to do yoga until H left and then I stopped doing it, mainly because I didn't think I'd be able to successfully compartmentalise my feelings away if I was spending time every day meditating. It was SUCH hard work on the retreat this weekend, but I feel like I've exercised parts of me that I'd forgotten I had. It was funny, actually, because the instructor suggested I focus my work on dealing with change in my life and as I was meditating at the end of the first session there was this huge release as everything 'reconnected' itself within me (I can't explain this very well) and I felt as though everything from the last couple of years just left me. It was GREAT! So, I'm tired today but I feel light in myself and balanced. It's lovely.
CEO- in relation to the ways he looks after me, yes, I did agree with his assessment- he looks after me as far as he can within the confines of our R, and I suspect, reading between the lines, that he does more for me on that front than he tells me about. I'd just rather he wasn't looking after me as my boss You're right that he is very self-assured, or comes across that way. I can't imagine that I make him feel inadequate though, as I'm only me, but I guess that I might do if he cared about my opinion, which is the million dollar question isn't it?!
Finally (this is a really tricky one for me, Mish!), how do I feel about him? I don't know!! I feel frustrated with him- as Michelle says, the situation is incredibly complicated and it's so infuriating. He's a chaser and needs to do the asking but he won't. On the other hand he doesn't like other men speaking to me and is comfortable discussing the fact that people think we're married. I feel like he is the most annoying man I ever met, but he's also the most manly man I ever met (apart from you, of course, Jeff!). He makes me want to be better and he brings out parts of my personality that I'd forgotten I had. When he puts his arm round me, I feel safe. When he looks at me, I get butterflies. I love that he tries to look after me, and that when he's there I laugh all the time (apart from when we're fighting, but even then we laugh at least a little). I love that he thinks he needs a bigger house because he has such big dreams and needs space to dream them. I don't know what that feeling is. Limerance perhaps? Attraction, definitely. I don't like it much, whatever it is. Life would be easier if he wasn't my boss, that's for sure. It has all the makings of a Richard Curtis film
So the D papers are going to H tomorrow. CEO and I are going for a business lunch to a posh French restaurant tomorrow, which should be fun.
((((((Lisa)))))) That Quantum Yoga sounds quite intense! And it sounds like you are feeling GREAT!
I watched a lot of the Masters yesterday! At the start I thought the TV guys were paying too much attention to Tiger and Phil, I thought they had dug themselves too deep a hole, and couldn't be expected to get back into it! But when they got to the 17th, I was thinking that if they got another birdie, the guys ahead of them would feel the pressure, and totally collapse. But, then it seemed that the pressure backfired on them, and they made the mistakes! When Tiger whacked that tree, I thought it looked like something I would do. And then Carbrerra hit the tree, and ended up in the fairway, which is a move that I am also familiar with! It was fun. I think we'd have better luck getting in to see the Open than the Masters... though if you wanted to come over we could watch the Masters on TV, which would allow for other activities as well!
I can see why the CEO thing is driving you crazy, but it really makes sense to me. I am not sure the dynamic can change as long as he is the boss. He seems to have a line that he won't cross in that position. Which is in general probably a good thing. But his frequent visits right to the edge of the line could get really confusing for you! Anyway, I think that if you want him to cross the line, you might need to get a new job. OK, so I've shot myself in the foot there, I need to go bandage it up.....
Lisa you do sound great, which seems an odd thing to say given your plans but hope you know what I mean. I must just offer my services for Jeff wow what a brave soldier he is giving you that advice when he has been saving his pennies for new socks and a flight.
Jeff, I have done a first aid course and my bandaging skills are all up to date,
It was a fun evening, although the ball itself was a bit odd. In total 6 people that evening either asked if CEO and I were married, or said we should be married if we weren't already (to him). Clearly there must be vibes coming off us that make people think that....
Ok, so my evil side is taking over now. 