Please stop the war. Funny thing is I bet you responded to Sadi's post before reading mind and it confirmed that you are in war mode. Yes, it is true, divorce is basically a war and it can be brutal. But I think you may have been caught in the war mode your xW that this feels kind of comfortable for you. Not to say that you like the war, but you have learned how to war and its not new to you. I think here of something Michele said, if you want your marriage to change, you have to change. And also when we react our partner react and then we respond and then you react or vice versa. I think YOU need to break this chain. A war can only be carried on if there are two people battling. Stop fighting her in the divorce war. You and your wife are separated, be just that separated for now. It's only been three months since you S and emotions have been going wild since then. Calm things down on your end and I think they will calm down. If you keep finghting, the divorce war will go on until it ends in divorce with one of you thinking I'm going to show him or I'm going to show her and neither of you will win. In my sitch, H and I have been S since Sept. and the first three months we were constantly fighting. It wasn't until I got with DB, and decided that I didn't want to fight anymore more like I wanted to fight less, that we are now civil to each other. Maybe one of your goals right now should be that you and her become civil with each other. Even if you get divorce, there's is nothing wrong with being civil for the sake of your daughter. I truly believe she is doing this because she knows how much it will hurt. By the way, who filed the D, you or her. I think you said she did, right?
Anyway, I think you should call a truce for now. She will try to instigate a fight but put down your dukes for now and live and be happy. Let her see you happy and civil as can be. Will shock her to death and I bet she will come around. Maybe you should tell that you are postponing the D proceedings for a few days because you want some time to think. I only suggest this becasue in your case I think this would be a 180 that may shock her. She is use to you fighting the divorce war, so I think it will be a surprise. Just a thought.
