Just to finish off, n_a I am a 100% supportive to W and I think to this point I have gone way above and beyond the call of duty in repairing this this M. If I'm honest there is only one of us working on this M and if there is anyone that needs LOTS of assurances its me, do I get any h**l no.
You don't get much assurance from home, but those of us that have followed your stitch since you came here--know how hard you've worked and supported your wife. You have been stressed to the gills and I am concerned about that. A lot of posts come across as being very critical when actually, I think, people are just trying to make suggestions b/c they want you to keep receiving posts to show that people are reading what you have to say. And some, like me, tend to want to remind you not to get slack and lose the ground you've gained (which I can see where you could get very tired of hearing that since you are working as hard as your can).
I have noticed that whether it is on the job force, church, or family/marriage issues.......it seems to usually be what would be considered "petty" things that can be like a cancer that eats and rots at the organization/idividual/or the couple.....until something splits into. There have been a lot of "big" issues you have faced, but it is usually these "smaller" bumps in the road that end up just making us almost stop and quit trying to get down that road. The straw that breaks the camel's back!
We all are truly here for you, Lan. You know that in your heart, and I know you need to blow off some steam......and it is okay to come here and do that.......especially to me.....anytime you need to. Try not to fret anymore over the birthday CD thing. That is such a small issue in life to "worry" about when you put it up against what is really important. I look back and am so embarrassed at some of the so-called "gifts" that I given my husband over the years. I was lucky b/c he never acted hurt, but he had every reason to. The truth was that I just did not put enough personal effort into planning what to get him and would just grab something at the last minute for him to have a package to open. But, seriously speaking and what I meant in my post is this: It should not be something that somebody places an order, like you were a catalog store. A "gift" should be something that you give to somebody who does not earn it nor do they necessarily "deserve" it. If they "earn" it.....then it is not a gift b/c it become wages. Might even look at it in the same way of "deserving" it......it could be interpreted as "payment" for being good. A gift should be like an act of "grace".......nothing about earning or deserving should be involved in true gift giving. Our society has placed bad guidelines on gift giving. In our office, we place a price range for the "gifts" we give for the name we draw at Christmas (isn't that fun when you get the name of the person you can't stand?), or we are "obligated" to get somebody something b/c they always get us something or we will be thought badly of if we don't get something expensive. I could go on & on, but you see where I'm coming from about this gift business. Anyway, that's just my personal opinion about gifts and have done a lot of talking about something I said not to fret about.... .
You know you are one of my "sweeties" and I care very much about your stitch and want you to be healthy and happy. I know you are emotionally down and you are exhausted from all the time you have labored in the hard work of this R. When one is tired and irritated with things, we can interpret what is written differently than what the writer intended. I certainly hope that I have not pulled you down anymore than you already are b/c you are a special person, Lan, and have been an inspiration to many. Your strength has amazed me and your love for your wife has touched my heart. A lot of women get together and start into "male bashing", but I don't think there are many that would bash you. So what if you did or didn't do the "right" thing about a CD for her birthday??? It is past, and you will and we will make more mistakes--if we continue to live.. . I suppose we tend to expound on these things b/c most of us write on a daily basis and that is just what we do....
Hope you can get some emotional and physical rest b/c that, my friend, you do DESERVE!
Take care, Sandi2
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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. I suppose we tend to expound on these things b/c most of us write on a daily basis and that is just what we do.... 
