A new thread, a new outlook.....

[Can it work]

The title of this thread says how I mean it to go. I've done a lot of soul searching and I think I'm coming back around to the idea that regaining the love and respect of my W is not an impossible task. Many things have helped me come to this conclusion, not least the support I'm getting here on this forum.

Last night a good friend of mine came for a visit and we had a really good talk. It helped me clear my head and focus on the important things in life. I've realised that my main issue right now is my inability to GAL. It's something to work on with a whole new set of goals to spur me on.

PM, I thought a lot about your last post and what I could do about it. I brought it up in my coaching session today and got a surprising response. She advised that I should just let the extra night go and suggest to my W that we just pretend I never made the request. At the end of the day it was about what I wanted, not what was best for Wee Man. In asking for that extra night I would have come over as needy and therefore once again not attractive. She also suggested that it was one more night where I could know for sure that my W was not out partying and getting up to no good.

I know after my coaching session that I really need to focus more on the positives. Lets face it, she offered me tea and came to me for advice. That's a positive step in anyone's book. I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. This could be the start of a friendship. My W wants to gossip with me about her friends. I need to embrace that and essentially become like one of her girlfriends rather than her LBH. It's obvious she still sees me as someone she can turn to and that's a firm foundation to build more.

As for her not filing for a divorce yet PM, I'm not 100% sure of the law here but I told her at the beginning that we have to wait 2 years for a consenting divorce. She won't be thinking about it because she doesn't know it's a possibility. If it turns out I was wrong and we can divorce before that, I think I might keep that information to myself. No sense in giving her more ammunition.

I've contacted an old school friend of mine today to try and arrange some time to meet up over the weekend to discuss the possibility of starting up a mountain biking group. I always complain that there's nothing to do here except go out to the pub and drink. My coach asked me what was to stop me starting up something myself. It was a fair point. Every club and social event is started by someone because they have a need for it. Why can't it be me?

After my coaching session I felt really good. I then went straight to the gym to give myself a good endorphin fix. Afterwards I went for a nice soak in the bath and dressed myself up well. I'm going out to visit my Mum later for a family gathering. Many of my family members who are attending are similar in age to myself and have young families. I've just kind of lost contact over the years. It's time to re-establish that contact and extend my social circle where I can include Wee Man.

I honestly feel like a new person who's been given another chance and I'm grateful for it. I've been feeling so negative lately and there's no excuse for it. It stops here. I know I'm still going to have my low moments but I need to learn to pick myself up from them and move on to more positive things. Basically, I lost my way there for a bit. With the help of all you lovely people out there though, I'm going to find my way once again.

Keep smiling!

Kev