Sorry to leave you hanging... I was out with the baby.
I am no expert. You know your situation much better than I do. You know alcoholism much better than I do. You know your H much better than I do. It sounds like you know how you want to handle everything, and it sounds like you know what you need to do for yourself.
I am glad you're going to Alanon to get real support from real experts. Please keep going!
