Silly, Trust me .. I dont "claim " things are better of they really aren't. I came here like a puddle on the floor. I was devastated. He was going to Divorce me.... my life was over.
I have always been an open book on here? I want change. I want a good solid Marriage. I could sugar coat my pain or make stuff up? It would get me nowhere. And I have never been any good at lying. I hate it when people lie actually. I love honesty. Always have even if it made me seem weak.
2 years into our "piecing" he told me it was SSM. I was like WTF?
And then after the Valetines Day Exodus here? Many got banned? I was desperate for sexual answers. All the while? I never thought I was married to an alcoholic. Hello Ali... smell the coffee. Hit me up side the head . LIL.
It is sort of sad when I accepted it cause I always had that feeling, well then my R doesn't count, he is broken. 13 yrs dont mean anything.... ouch~ It felt so ugly, I still feel like that sometimes. If he would juts stop? We would be normal , we would deserve to be happy.
I hope one day he stops, but it his work not mine. I learned that in Alanon. I can argue with it til I am blue in the face and it wont change. I am arguing with WHAT IS. All it will cause is me to suffer.
Love you, and thanks for asking those questions. You have made me smile, actually. To see how much I have grown in these past few months. It took me yrs to get to this point.
