Lucky, I love how much you love me. I used to think exactly all the things you posted. I tried to get him to *see* his problem. I tried to be perfect so he would love me more than the booze. I tried everything you name it. I cried, I pleaded. I begged. I gave him the look. I tried the cold shoulder. I tried to offer him P*ssy in exchange for stopping. I showed him articles. I even recently mentioned how ED and alcoholism seem to have a link, as Lil told me.
I met Lil. I went to Alanon . I found the Work. I woke up. Just before X mas this year I was posting to Cinco from a hotel room my Family and I were staying in. He was out on a binge. I was mortified. I did evrything right. He promised to stop drinking. he had and that day he was on the binge gain. I was beside myself with hurt and tears. I called myself a loser on ftio. I said wow if I believed him???? I must still also believe in Santa Claus???? What an idiot I am. If you want you can look for it and read even more ups and downs. I had been to several Alanon meetings. I still did not fully get " his drinking is none of my damn business"
I wasnt until I found the WORK website on nite after S and A posted to Lil about something similar to what you feel. S&A hated to see me torture ,myself w/ the alcoholism too.
I see what you mean love. But I have found true freedom in not owning his drinking or trying to fix it. he can also not drag me into the drinking anymore like he used to cause I dont talk about it anymore.
See this is what I meant about others no tthinking I can say ... Yeah I did hits or this b/c of the drinking and his issues. he sure has a lot of internal work to do. I can only lead by example. Our sitch has took a complete turn since i found the work and let go fully. The detaching from being fused was very painful.
I just wish I would have posted all that here so others here may have been helped.
I also know being open is the only way I have lead to real change. I dont hide anything and then I find solutions.
Please be happy for me. I have come a long way and so has he.
yes he is still an active alcoholic like Lil says. I had demons before. they werent quite as ugly but he still loved me.
My Alanon family? They have helped me so much, not to feel used or weird b/c I love an alcoholic.
