H still hiding A

[Beans]

Well, not sure what to do now? It's tough when your right in the middle of it, to see things objectively.

It seems my sitch has progessed so quickly! He moved out in Feb. Not sure what he wanted. We still kept in contact was friendly, then he became angry at every converstion. So I stopped contacting him (hard thing to do at first). He still contacted me at first, but not for the last couple of weeks. Only about the kids.

The not talking to him everyday is getting easier. But that is what I'm scared of, I think it is making the sitch worse. I only hear what is going on with him and OW thru my daughter. A few weeks ago it was he wasn't sure if we would get a divorce. now it is the OW is getting a divorce and so are me and mom. Although he hasn't told me!

This past weekend he had the kids and he called me to say that he couldn't handle D. She was sad and depressing to be around. He told her that she wasn't sad about the situation because she has always been like this! How insensative! He said he is finally happy and doesn't understand why everyone else isn't.

I believe the reason he says he is happy now is that he doesn't have anymore resposibilities except to himself. He is down to his ideal weight, works out. And I have to admit looks better then he has in years! He lives alone, and sees his kids when he wants too, brings them home if they get to much for him. And sees his girlfriend whenever he can.

He still avoids all but one of his friends and his mother. Funny thing he is talking to his mother who he says he hates. And who has made him the way he is, (she has walked away from 5 marriages) and admits that she stays in an unhappy one now just because she doesn't want to be alone!

I finally stopped blaming and feeling sorry for myself. Now I'm in the anger stage. I am so angry at him! I also have lost a bit of respect for him. So why do I still want him to "wake up" and realize what he is doing is wrong and come back home? I do still love him, and realize that I don't want him back the way he is now (he act's like he is 18 yrs old!!) selfish, and so carefree!

Anyways, I feel like I'm rambling. Maybe he is MLC? I'm not sure were to go from here? Start to be a friend to him again, I'm not sure I'm quite ready, I'm still angry at him. But I see acceptance in the near future. This is all such a whirlwind!!