WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[confusedinpa]

I know it's the right thing to just "man up" and let her go. It is hard for me to fully accept as I don't believe that she is even considering the possibility of coming back. I know I'm not a mind reader nor should I be trying to guess what she is thinking.

She did tell me last nite that she had talked to my mom last weekend when I was in CT with the boys. Apparently my mom has been calling her everytday to give me another chance. Not sure if that is really helping or not.

Guess the bottom line I need to realize what's been pointed out to me, she doesn't see a life with me. I need to give her a reason to want to see a life with me. I've been making my changes. I guess I don't see how her not beeing around will make it possible for her to find a reason to see a life with me. So confusing.

When she brought up moving out on Monday, I asked did she think she would ever come back. She just answered - I want a divorce, what do you think. She gave no indication/sign of even considering the coming back. Last nite, she said, perhaps just to make me feel better, who knows, that she thinks being away from having the "negativity" right in front of her all the time may make her realize all that she is giving up. When I asked what "negativity" she said it was me.

I guess this could be the final stretch to make sure I show her my best 180. It is a little tough while I'm battling a stomach bug.

A positive is that she does say she wants to have a 50/50 custody agreement. Her original proposal was to have the kids move back and forth every 2 days. When I said that didn't offer much stability for the kids, she then said every 3 days. I'm going to suggest she can have them Mon night through Thurs night and I'll take then Fri night through Sun night. My thought process to that would be that since she's in an apartment and I'm in the house with the yard and all the toys, it makes more sense to have the kids in the house on the weekends. She'll have them for 1 more day/week than I will, but I'll ask for extra days throughout the year to get to 50/50

We'll see how that goes.