It sounds as if you are keeping a very sound mind and staying focused on what is important. I sincerely hope that the MC will help. I have little confidence in so many of them, but she sounded as though she was perceptive to what she picked up with her visit with your W, so maybe this counselor knows what she is doing and is pro-marriage. So many just tell couples or individuals that the M won't work and go their separate ways.
Don't look at what I am about to say as criticism but just to keep a "watch" on yourself. Your post almost.....almost gives a hint of arrogance in how well you have everything together and all the proof against her. That doesn't mean you ARE, it is just what I sense. So, what I want to say is to be careful about getting "smug" in your work to prove yourself to be the best parent to have custody of your child. If.....if she should try to come back into the M, it would be a very humbling experience for her and very difficult b/c to be proven that you are an unfit mother, I think, one of the most devastating things to happen to a woman. Even though she brought all of this upon herself, it will still be devastating. I am not blaming you for fighting for your child; I think you need to for the welfare of the baby. But, if she does try to come back and approaches you in that decision......whether you want her back or not, try hard to be kind in your rejection of her or your acceptance in taking her back and if you take her back.....try never to discuss the matter of you being the better parent. I suppose what I am saying is that if she wants to work things out in the M, you will need to be strong, but yet don't come across to her as her superior in the MR or in parenting. I hope you can understand what I am trying to say in my own poor way, here. I don't think she should have custody, but as a mother, I just can't help but have pity for her (and yet feel anger also....since she let this happen) b/c I think when she wakes up to what she has allowed to happen......she will either turn to you or she will hit rock bottom and there is no telling what may happen to her life then. So, you need to really evaluate how your feelings rate for her and I know a lot depends on the MC and the ruling of the court and her further behavior......I realize all of that, but also try to keep this thought in your heart, okay?
You are doing good.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
