Therapy went well. My session was supposed to last 50 minutes but she listened for about 25 minutes longer because she was just floored at how I still had my s**t together after everything I've been through in my life. (We started at high school).
She no longer wants to meet with W separately, and said if we are going to do any sort of MC we need to come in together next time because she doesn't want to take sides. Apparently she felt I was being extremely honest and wouldn't be able to do a fair job for us if W came in lying about things.
I won't go too far into detail about what was discussed, but she said based on everything I told her she felt that I was pretty ambivalent about whether to work on the M or continue with the D. She said it seemed like I was prepared for either eventuality and wasn't emotionally invested in either course of action.
I told her my first priority was my daughter. My second priority was my W getting whatever help she needed. And following that I was willing to consider working on the M - but that I also recognized that it would be a huge investment for me, especially with the lack of trust.
Right now: W is not on the house deed. W is not on the mortgage. W is not on any of my financial accounts. W is not on my truck note.
I have evidence of the A. I have evidence of mental issues. I have evidence that I'm the better parent.
So... when I break it down rationally instead of emotionally - it seems like I'll never be in a better position to get what I want custody-wise.
And really... since W has made it clear she wanted the D, she is having the A, I shouldn't feel that guilty about going right at her and deal with it if/when she decides she wants to come back.
Today she text-messaged me about taxes, wanting me to file everything so she can get her part of the refund. She said "I'm entitled to some of it because I paid taxes" and I said "Did I say you weren't?" and she said "No, I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way."
Told her if she thought it was fair the way I was dividing it (based on percentage of income) then I would file, otherwise I'd give her her own tax items and we could file separately - her choice. She said "No I want to file together." I said "That's good. I'll do everything then, and give you a copy of everything so you have it for next year."
Just left it at that, and she just said "Okay."
She still wants me to do everything for her she doesn't know how to do. Frustrating a bit.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
