New around here...

[hopeful_cb]

Hi all,

I have been reading on this forum for a few weeks now since I got DR and found out about the support offered thru this site.

A quick run down of my situation:

I have been with H 8 yrs, married over 2 yrs, no kids, both 27 He moved out 7 weeks ago after telling me he is not happy and doesn't know what else to do anymore. He has given many reasons like he doesn't want the responsibility of being with someone anymore, he wants to do whatever he wants when ever he wants and not worry about someone else. He also stated he felt we have drifted apart, had nothing in common anymore and felt there was so much pressure on our relationship(don't know from who tho?!?) He had many worries about feeling too old too fast and possibly regretting things 10 yrs down the line if he didn't do something now. He also stated he had tried 'everything' and there was nothing left he could try to help things, although he never communicated this to me! He has said its too late now to work on things, he's already decided.

I have read and re-read DR in the past 4 weeks which has helped a lot! I of course did all the wrong things at first and was completely devastated. Since then, I have started doing the LRT, as well as looking at lots of other steps from the book. I have stopped any R talk, stopped saying ILY, stopped all the chasing/pursuing and started GAL and trying to be upbeat when talking to or seeing H. All of which is very hard but I am doing my best!

I have to say there has been some positive progress. After a couple of weeks of not initiating any contact, H began to text me a couple of times a week, and since then has text some more and asked to meet up about a few times which I agreed to. So far he has asked if we could meet up and spend time together about once a week since I started trying to follow DR.

I am having trouble knowing how much to respond when H makes contact. I don't want to seem like I don't want to see him but also don't want to give too much or be too eager? What's the best way to handle this?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
cb