Sorry to hear about your D, and the state you now find yourself in. It hurts.
There's a program that I went through when W and I separated and were heading towards D. It's a Christian based program called DivorceCare. http://www.divorcecare.com A good program to help you transition from where you are now to where you want to be.
Love is an action, not a feeling; therefore you should always love your W, even XW. Try to analyze the feelings and the thought that generate them. What I thought was love I felt after loosing my W, was really fear and sadness. I was sad that our M was dead. It was like loosing a loved one, over and over every time I saw her. I was afraid that the pain would never go away, but it did. Long before we reconciled, the darkness, the cloudiness, the pain, began to subside.
It started when I began to view my W through the eyes of Christ. I did my best to stop judging her, stop controlling her, stop thinking about her, and moved on with my life. See her as Christ does. Pray for her, love her (1 Corinth. 13), and let her go.
What you do with your life should be the things that are best for YOU. Take care of yourself my brother. Pray for healing, and the strength and courage that it will take to continue loving your W, as you love all those other people around you. She is a child of God, on her own path, and you are His soldier.
Take life one moment at a time, and rest assured that healing will come, and YOU will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
