Amy, Monday and Tuesday were the best days I have had in such a long time. I just thanked God for allowing me those two days to feel more like a human being again. I want so badly to be able to get involved in doing the things I was doing in Church before I got this down in my health. I have not given up hope b/c I still pray that God may see fit to restore unto me enough that I can just get back to where I was a few years ago. I would be so happy, you would probably hear me shout all the way to your house.....LOL.
I am so glad you are feeling better today, honey. As I told you....you are allowed to go through these feelings you have now....just as long as you don't hold on to them and let them take over and rule your life. You don't want that. I think I know you well enough to know you do not want to live a miserable life like that. I also know that you are going to work hard to get to where you need to be.......and just like with everything else.....it may not be in the way you think it will happen, but God is going to see you through this and everything is going to be okay for you and the boys. You got too many folks praying for you not to come out a winner in life. Just b/c this R did not stick for life--does not mean that AmyM is a failure and I'll beat anyone up that thinks that for one second.....including you (lol). A divorce was not your decision and you did all you could do.....we know that, your friends and family know that, your H knows that, God knows that, and YOU know that. So, you don't be a victim to this situation. With God on your side, you come through a winner in your life. Some days you may not "feel" much like a winner, but we cannot allow our emotions to rule us. It took me years and years to learn that lesson, sweetie, and I suppose that is why I keep saying it to you now. Yes, we have those feelings (good or bad) and we learn to be in charge of them instead of them being in charge of us. As you grow (and you will) you are going to learn more how to do that. You already have to a huge extent.
You go make yourself a great day today, okay?
Love ya, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
hi amy - glad your ok now. This is a horrible place we are all in. hmmm OW is who she is. Morally dead. you wont be able to stop your kids being exposed in the long run and as they get older , that will work in your favor.
You on the other hand have every right to detest her and set boundries to protect yourself. I think it would only be unhealthy if you were acting on that hate - phone call, slashing tires , that kind of thing. It is healthy to recognise that she is a whore and that without your help, karma will catch up with her.
a story I heard today - a man left his wife and kids 10 years ago for this OW. They were together 4 years and broke up. Then after a short time reunited. The OW now has bone cancer and life expectancy is short. Now the LBW ( who was telling me the story ) is not sad. she has moved on, remarried, raised 2 lovely children. but will she shed a tear - NO. Does she believe justice has been served - Yes.
Her hatred was healthy and pushed her along. There are appropriate levels of anger and hate for all situations and absolutely encessary. God would not of given us the emotion if not to help us.
I think you handled S7's sitch really well! He's old enough to understand some of this and you can explain things. How about S3? Does he show anything? Just curious, since I have S4 twins.
Hey, y'all!!! I'm doing good today...just talked to the business attorney...so, everything on my end is done. H said last night that he was busy at work and wouldn't be able to review the final documents until next week. I said, "That's cool. You were the one in a hurry!" So, he then tried to back pedal a little and say that he wasn't in a hurry, etc., etc. Just a few days ago he accused me of stalling the entire process.
I did remove the "not dating before D" clause from the settlement. When I sent it back to him yesterday, I told him that I removed it since..."You weren't going to abide by it anyway, and if you aren't going to, why should I have to?" Not that I would ever, but, you know, maybe he'll wonder!
I also told him again last night that I thought the lying had to stop...he tried to tell me why he lied about the boys being at OW's place this weekend. I stopped him...I said, "H, I don't care. Sunday's in the past. We can't change the past. What I'm saying is that we have a lot of years to be parents together, and that I deserve to know where my children are and who they are with at all times. You have that same right. So, please, please, please don't lie about something like that again. I don't care what you do anymore. Don't you get that? I just want to know what my children are doing when they are not with me." He said, "Okay." But, we all know that's not gonna happen. Does he lie cause he doesn't know how to tell me the truth anymore...almost like it's a habit. I don't know!
Sandi, so glad you had good days!!! Hope you have many, many more!
Tawnya...hugs to you!
polly...I hear ya! I just don't want to carry that around with me. I'm not built that way...God gave me a big heart full of love. I've never hated or been hated by anyone (unless you count S3's teacher...I thought she hated me for a while). So, I think I'll be happier if I can forgive her. I don't want to be her friend (or his for that matter). I just want to have peace at night. I'll get there!
Sam...thanks for stopping by. Did you want to shop for shoes??? I'll meet you whenever for that!!! Thanks for the vote of confidence on my talk with S7. It was tough to have! I'm sure we'll have to cover it a lot...S7 worships his dad.
Other than the occasional, "I miss my daddy" I haven't had to deal with S3 about the sitch much. He takes his cues from S7. If S7 is not upset, then S3 isn't. But, the other night he did cry and say that he missed his daddy and then followed it with, "If my room was clean my daddy wouldn't leave." That was horrible! I just told him that daddy's leaving had nothing to do with the cleanliness of his room or with either of them. I told him that Daddy left because of Mommy...that he couldn't live with Mommy any longer. I don't know what goes through his mind most of the time. He's very loving towards me...and he wants me to brag on him about everything. But, I'm not sure if that's sitch related or not! Might just be who he is.
S7 does look after him at his dad's. He makes a point of telling me sometimes when S3 was sad or when S3 got in trouble...or like last weekend...when S3 was scared at first of OW's dog. So, I'm sure having S7 in the mix makes it easier for S3. All you can do is continuously reassure them of your love for them and of your love for W and of her love for them. It sucks!!!!
I'll catch up on your thread tonight...hope you had an okay day!
Love you all! Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
Hi Amy - I understand. Ithink I am experincing anger for the first time since it all started so i feel kind of hateful. I know that is justa waste of energy and I agree i dont want to carry that baggage around.
Peace sounds lovely. If I get my settlement soerted in next few weeks I m treating my kids ,and parents to Disneyland for a week of fun and sun in july !
{{{{Amy}}}} I am TRULY sending you to shoe shopper's anonymous, along with Pearl, SMW, and possibly Sam LOLOL?!
You are handling things so great and it sounds like it IS so good that S7 is around to help "take care" of S3, so I know that puts your mind at ease a bit too!
Glad you finally got your end of the paperwork finished my friend..I know that's a load off of your mind for that part anyway!
Hope your Friday is great
Love and hugs!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Ha..Sam..don't be sucked into that shoe shopping thing...run away LOLOL!! NO..you can SHOP for shoes..just not as much as those ladies OBVIOUSLY do LOLOL OR..in Amy and Pearl's case, I told them they could go shoe shopping if I held their credit cards LOLOL
{{{Amy}}} Hope your Friday is going well sweetie!!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
