Accelerated divorce due to OM...normal?

[sweet-1]

Unfortunately, I chose to believe her and give her more time. The adultery came to light 2 weeks ago today (Mar 12), well after she served me (I suspected but chalked it up as jealousy). Other than being served (Feb 18) and talking to my lawyer I have done nothing yet. We've only been split since Nov 2, she wanted to do collaborative and let it sit until Nov 09 then do the uncontested thing...now I doubt it will happen.

We have joint custody 1 week at her 1 bdrm appt 40 min away from school, and 1 week in the house with me 5 min away from school. She has walked out of the house twice now (Came back after we mediated the 1 week on/off...with each of us leaving the house on our week without kids). Her statement of claim want primary residence, spousal support. With the arrangement we have now her child support comes out to $185/month. to which she burst into tears "How can I live on that". She has 10 plus years as a bookkeeper, runs a local business and makes $18hour plus bonuses, yet expects spousal support.

I've got an appointment next week with my lawyer to discuss what to do. I'm facing a lay-off, the affair, the separation, now divorce, I'm on the verge of breaking down. I plan on asking my lawyer to stall as much as possible. Right now she gets nothing from me (I pay her student loan of $175/month, done next fall). Financially we're both fubarred, but she hasn't made a rational decision lately. She did tell me In Dec "it would be the easiest tbing in the world to move home to you, but I know I'll be miserable" WTF does that mean? She went black on me almost since the beginning (when I was pursuing).

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this, the 6 month point is May 2, the OM has moved home to the wife (W still insists its just a friendship, despite the hotel receipts etc). Our son turns 12 in April, so I just plan on DB'ing until she gets frustrated and soes something which may be sooner than I thought, lawyer still hasn't called back. I've gone as grey as I can with 2 kids and a small town, I post very upbeat facebook statuses, every day mostly jokes etc.

Every picture since this started has her left hand hidden by a glove or in a pocket. She took a picture on Santa's lap (?) and literally had her left hand awkwardly stuffed between her legs. She's looking pretty worn down lately and still won't make eye contact when we talk, so I'm not sure where she is mentally. But I do know I've seen her at her best and now her worst, and she is worth the fight.

Puppy, you did warn me, and I am listening to the advice (thanks all of you). But I've only been coming here a few weeks, and my sich seems incredibly accelerated compared to the others. makes me wonder who or what she has committed to in her mind.

Can you ask for a psychological evaluation during a divorce?