Today I saw the doc for a med check who I've been going to for 12 years. As I was summarizing interactions with ex the doc asked me if I was angry or frustrated with ex. I couldn't decide and said I was either 'frangry' or 'anstrated' but that I kept reminding myself of my ultimate goal... receiving the alimony and support on a regular basis. As I wrapped up other highlights since the last visit... negative interactions with ex, son's mono and ER visit, cleaning out the house with my friend, my dad's emergency hospital stay, my sister's need for extended care due to a debilitating illness and on and on, he asked me how I managed it.
I didn't know.. just that I compartmentalized some of it, did what I could within appropriate boundaries with the rest. This doc of few words that pack a lot of punch praised me in how far I have come. Last year I was lost, dependent, hurt. Now I was in charge, confident and something else I forgot. It was very neat to be so complimented.. and by him.
I've been volunteering at the hospital more. Last night was the first time I worked with terminally ill and/or hours away from death patients. What a strange moving experience. Very profound.
