Originally Posted By: AFWAW
Now the real question is if she's going to admit it and whether or not she wants to save our marriage. At this point I'd have to say no.


You don't know this. And right now, she doesn't know this either; I suspect. Again, you can't get into her head; you can only get into yours. If you want to save your M; save yourself first. Worry about making yourself into someone she wants to come back to.

Quote:
And it will take me some time to get over it. Is my confidence pretty much gone? I'd say so at this point


I understand this; but from what you've detailed of her comments, it seems to me that she has tremendous guilt and shame over whatever she's done. You have to accept that this is not about you; but it's about her. I know that it is hard to accept; but her guilt comes from her actions, not yours. The caveat here is that I don't really know what's in her head either; my input is based upon what I've learned from my sitch.

Now, you have definitely had some influence into how things got this far; we all have to own our part. But don't let it get to your self-esteem. That's why you need to GAL and detach.

Last edited by marriedCrazy; 03/26/09 07:44 PM.

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