Diane...I don't know how else to say this so I will be blunt: If I were you, I'd not wait any longer. I would just go see a lawyer. I know that is horrible sounding advice, and you don't want to just chuck everything into a big hole all at once....
But after seeing you struggle with literally zero communication from him in so many months you've been on the boards with us is just truly painful. You really need (IMO) to stop waiting for him to do ANYTHING, and take charge of your own life and decisions.
He has made his decision obvious. His decision is that he won't do anything to keep you around as long as he has to work for it, grow and change, go to counseling, or try to have a sex life. He is only willing to remain status quo. That is his decision.
Now...its time for you to make YOUR decision.
By talking to a lawyer (and then making this known to your H), I think one of two things will happen:
1. Your H will be astounded and will realize he better re-think the counseling, growing, and sex....or....
2. Your H will throw in the towel and quickly prove to you that there is nothing left to fight for.
Hon - I am so sorry. I wish I had better advice. But seriously, just talking to a lawyer doesn't mean divorce. What it means is that you are serious about CHANGE. It might prompt him to realize how much he is about to lose. It might also prompt you to realize that you can accept things as they are a bit longer. Maybe talking to a lawyer will change YOUR mind, and make you more willing to stick things out. But I think just having that talk and facing your possible future is important.
Please - the biggest point is - stop waiting for HIM to decide YOUR future. Decide your future for yourself, then ask him if he wants to be by your side during it or if he wants no part of it.
