My first step out of Newcomers

[Can it work]

Hey folks.

I think I may have just had an awful backslide in my sitch. I dropped Wee Man back with my W and we talked about the extra night I was asking for with him. She's not willing to back down and it lead in to a bit of an argument. She kept telling me how she wasn't willing to give me an extra night since she was his primary carer. My argument was that she was still going to have him a whole lot more than me and I couldn't see why she was so adamant not to give me that one extra night.

It started off quite well too. She offered me a cup of tea when I arrived and she started asking advice about some problems her friends were having. We were getting on so well and then this. I wish I'd never asked for the extra time because by the time I left it felt like I was back at square one. She was telling me how it's always going to be like this if we discuss visiting arrangements. There was absolutely no indication that she was having any kind of second thoughts about our M.

When I came home I sent her a text telling her that if it was going to cause so much agro, we can just leave it like it is. I said that we have to put him first at the end of the day and any animosity between us was going to be much worse for him than any visitation arrangement.

To be honest, it's not made me as emotional as I thought but it has made me start to doubt the possibility of any kind of reconcilliation any more. There just doesn't seem to be any kind of chance for us to get back together. I'm beginning to think that what I saw as pursuing from her was just her acting nicer around me for the sake of Wee Man. We always said we'd need to be friends for his sake and maybe that's just where she'd finally managed to be in her mind. It's just another stage of her moving on. She's losing the guilt and accepting the way it has to be for the rest of our lives.

I've got another coaching session tomorrow so I'll see how that goes but I'm even less inclined now to believe that this is ever going to work out. Am I just torturing myself thinking otherwise? That's certainly the opinion of everyone who knows us. The truth is, I'm starting to believe them.

Most people on here have so much more history in their marriages that they have a stable foundation to look back on. Mine is so new though that maybe it just wasn't meant to be. As soon as my W realised that maybe she just decided to move on rather than going down with a sinking ship.

I know this is so negative but I'm just struggling to see any positives any more.

Kev