Am I doing the right thing?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

she didn't know if she could forgive me for that.

Yeah, causes that right up there with killing someone...

Look man it's like projection. She doesn't know if she can forgive you because she doesn't think you will forgive her...
for what? Hell man I don't know, but willing to bet its the reason she feels all paranoid about your 'prying' into her life...

So What are you doing for yourself? Have you and the kids seen ?Monsters vs Aliens yet?

[D Money]

Actually we're going to see it this weekend.

I've been doing work around the house that i've been putting off for so long. Doing them the way I want them done.

[Kimmie Lee]

this is so hard. These poor WAS's have all these luxuries. They get to be "angry" for no apparent reason, and we are supposed to "validate". Poor darlings are "confused" and they will talk to us "in their own sweet time". And we are supposed to "validate".

Validate what? Oh, you poor dear....you are f*cking my best friend, your boss, the neighbor, an old boyfriend/girlfriend....whatever.....

As you can see, I'm not big on validating.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

So you're saying that you didn't do it cause you didn't like it, or it didn't work for you?

[Kimmie Lee]

my WAH and I had very little contact after he left, so there was no real way to validate anything.

But to me, it just seems humiliating to validate other than to say the standard, "Sorry you feel that way."

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Validating (to me) is nothing more than showing the Spouse that no matter what they say the possibility of dialogue and communication exists.

What they say is tastelss, stupid, wrong, and it takes everything you have not to tell them so and say instead, "I understand how you feel." Or something similar.

Validating lays the ground for future communications.

I am sorry you didn't have the opportunity to use it.

As BS as validating seems, it is a useful tool in dealing with the MLCer.

[D Money]

The thing is if you say anything negative they sure as hell remember that and will hold it against you. The night my wife walked out I called her a whore. You can bet right now she still holds that against me.

[Mach1]

The thing is if you say anything negative they sure as hell remember that and will hold it against you. The night my wife walked out I called her a whore. You can bet right now she still holds that against me.

Lesson learned ?

[D Money]

Most definitely.

[Kimmie Lee]

You called her a whore?

Now, that's what I call "validating". LMAO!!