It's been a while but I have finally a moment for myself to think and to write a few words. Been spending lots of time with my wife lately... Sandi, I think you're right... I hate to say it but you're right. On one hand: She seems to behave herself, as I said, we spend lots of time together, working out, skiing, talking, watching movies, etc. As I monitor the results things seem to improve. On the other hand: so far she has refused to change her phone,even though I bought a new sim card the day after she came back. I've been waiting patiently, had a few conversations about this always ending with the same result: it's sooooo inconvienient for her... Back in my head I always have this fear that she's not completely through with OM yet. Yesterday I asked her about this: she admited that they've been texting to each other and that it's been very hard on her because she's emotionaly attached. Once again I swallowed my pride and once again told her that in order for our marriage to be back on track, he needs to be out of the picture. The only way to do that is to completely cut himout of our life; change this damn phone and email... We can not go through with this M and fix it if she's not fully commited. She can't keep him on the side just in case things will not work out!Looks like she got it but for how long this time?
Told her that understand how difficult it's for her and appreciate her efforts but asked her how would she feel I she was in my shoes...
After a moment of silence she admited that she needs outside help, that she doesn't know what to do and how to get out of this vicious circle. Again said that her life is a failure, that she failed in every aspect of it: her career, marriage, dreams... I tried to open her eyes and remind her of so many accomplishments she achieved in her life but honestly I don't know what to say to that. Needless to say that I completely disagree with her point of view.
I will try to set up an appointment with the priest who does the MC, try once again to talk her into the retrouvaille program. I'll try to convince her into going back to the MC who worked with her before (she stopped going to these sessions after she came back home).
I made a copy of the "infidelity" chapter from DR book (left out the techniques). I want her to read it maybe she would understand that it's not a quick fix and saving marriage takes a lot of time and efforts. Maybe it will give her some guidance.
I'm very reluctant though about letting her read entire book. She wants to. It may be very helpful but also dangerous...
