I think what I need to figure out is what to do when crap related to the dead girl is put in my face. Something maybe like, kick someone. Or go for a walk, or a run. I need to have a list of several things. I don't think you know this story. (Girlfriend/Roommate says if I ever made my life into a movie or a book, no one would believe it.) My H has a high profile job as did I and sort of still do. I was at a restaurant, waiting for my food wondering why I ordered what I did because I was doing dinner with the girls later and would be eating pretty much the same thing. A woman taps me on the arm and says "You're a lucky lady!" I asked why, and she said she worked at my favorite store in our town that sells the cutest jewelry to fun gifts. She said she saw what my husband got me for Christmas, the earrings were gorgeous! And he that he spent a pretty penny on it. Well, H didn't give me anything for Christmas. Things were pretty bad for us then and things were at their "peak" if you will with ex-OW. Basically, he bought them for her. I'm standing, there talking to strangers wondering if they can see how hot I feel and sick to my stomach. But these are some of the things I'm dealing with...and it's just out right freaking crazy. Absolutely crazy. I wanted to go to Chick-fil-a that day too, wish I had. But that's what I mean, I need a list of things I can do when the crap is thrown in my face because really, I have no idea where I may be when it hits the fan, or my face.
So when I'm at home, I could go walking, recite the alphabet, read to S, talk with Girlfriend/Roomate. I need to shake it before I contact him with the latest crap-ola. But what if I'm in public? I can't just very well puke on people's shoes.....or can I? I just need to make a deal with myself that when I find out or learn something that pisses me off with H in any capacity, I have to wait, HAVE TO WAIT an hour or two before I can call and ask about it. And maybe by that time, I won't want to.
Last night, after H got done at the gym, he took S to get pizza. He texted me that I was welcome to join him and S, but I turned the offer down and said I would just see him when he dropped S off. No response. He got back to where I'm staying pretty late. He came in my room and S and I were hugging at S's level. H talked to me for a minute and asked "Are you mad? Is everything ok?" I said yes, and he said he had to go and gave S a big hug and sort of gave me an affectionate touch on my face. He said Bye Lovie. I said Bye.
