The funeral......It was more funny than anything else, even though at the moment I was not laughing. It got me wondering, "Did my H really fall in love with someone else or was it just something new?" It's hard to say but there are a lot of great arguments either way. I was also wondering if we can recover.
But all of of that goes back to I can't control him or change the past. I just hope he is more honest with me in the future about everything. I can take the truth, it sucks often times, but it's better than all of this wondering, which makes you nutzo.
Today I'm ok. I had to call and turn down a job offer after my current boss counter offered. It wasn't a match but all things taken into account I think my butt needs to stay here. I have a high level of comfort here and lots of flexibility, which I love. But I was having some angst over the phone call to decline. They did do a lot of work for me to get the offer in writing, time to interview me, they like me enough to offer me the job, etc. But before I spoke to them, I sent H and some other friends a text about being anxious about it. Everyone responded except him. So like an idiot, I called and he sounded sort of distracted, maybe jerky a little bit, but then again, he's very busy at work today so I'm probably reading into it.
But the call to turn the job down went very well. So I'm happy about that and now I have a little raise here. That's good stuff.
Fortunately, I've got an easy day and I'm going to enjoy it then go home with my little guy and enjoy that even more.
You're right. From now on NO ONE but ME is going to make me crazy damn it!
