Yea, those words come back and slap us in the face. Each of us find ourselves looking back on things and wondering what we could have done different. I know there are many things that I could have done different but would it have really mattered?
I'm not a very religious person but someone once told me that God has your life planned out for you the day you are born. So I guess my stbx was not meant to be my soul mate. He was placed in my life to prepare me for my soul mate. I have learned what is needed to make a marriage work. I have learned a lot about myself. We learn from our mistakes. I will never consider my marriage a mistake, it was just not meant to be. I cherish every day I spent with my stbx.
I will have memories of the past 22 years I spent with my stbx. Some will be good and some not so good.
Kenn, no matter where your path leads you, you are a super guy. You are a super father. Most men would give up and just walk away. You have not done that. You are teaching your daughter to not give up on something she believes in. Fight for what you want.
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Now it's like having an awakening. I like myself again, I am trying to change the things about me I didn't like and being pretty successful at it. Doing the things that in the past I ahd found reasons (excuse) not too. And proud of myself.
This in itself is a step in the right direction. If you don't like yourself then no one else will either. I have learned when we don't like ourselves it projects from us. It chases people away. You are on the road to recovery.
Now, don't worry about the woulda, coulda, shoulda...it will haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't let it go.