Thank you everyone for all of your input, especially MLC for pointing out all these important points. I have been thinking over what everyone said and trying to make sense of everything. To tell you the truth. I just cannot pull the plug just yet. I just feel that I am not ready to abandon ship just yet and move home. What I will do is when we have our shared counselling session I will ask H to sign some applications for school with me so at least he knows I am considering it for some time in the future. Not to say I will move right away but it is on my mind. Which is where I am at right now emotionally.
I told you all that H went away for one trip. Well, he came home for one night to see the kids before going away for another trip. He brought presents for the kids and we had a pretty normal night ( no, he didn't have dinner with us) but guess what, he bought me a small gift! I could have fell out of my chair. It was one of my favorite things, a bag of really nice coffee. He bought it especially for me. Now I don't know what to think. Why did he buy me coffee? Was he thinking about me on his trip? Is he feeling guilty about something? Does it mean anything? But if he hates me or is indifferent or is trying to get away from me why would he buy me anything? Let alone something thoughtful that I would like????
I am confused.
I mentioned that I felt a change but couldn't prove my finger on it. Now it seems this action is totally out of character for what has been happening in the last year. I wonder if he is opening up his eyes to other options than the path he has chosen??? Ideas anyone?
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
