I desperately want to save my marriage, though my wife seems to be detaching from ME at the moment, rather than me detaching from her.
I tend to agree.
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The present strategy is trying to reduce negativity and conflict, step 1 in attempting to reconcile.
Ahh, the Appeasement Strategy. It rarely works. How do YOU feel it's working for you?
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This also allows for a better atmosphere in the house for the children.
On any given day, yes -- appeasement does appear to resemble "peace." But in the LONG run, peace is not defined as the absence of conflict, and you are teaching your children lessons I don't believe you really want them to learn.
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I only have one more week before I move out so anything I can do needs to be done ASAP.
Then don't move out. This is the ONE thing that EVERY person posting to you has agreed upon; why are YOU moving out if your goals are to minimize the disruption to the children's lives, to maintain your own dignity, and to have an opportunity to live out before your wife's eyes some sort of "new & improved Mark"? None of those seem conducive to moving out, so I don't know why you're doing it other than to give in to your wife once again.
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As my wife appears to be detaching me and one of our problems was neglectful behaviour by me, what will be the best strategy for when I move out? If I attempt no interaction with her unless it pertains to the children it will be seen as more of the same.
I guess this all depends on whether you see your wife's current "grievances" -- in her current walkaway state of mind -- as being legitimate and sincere, or if you view them as cheeseless tunnels and hoop-jumping which you cannot possibly hope to fulfill. I FULLY believe it's the latter, so all of my advice is coming from this perspective, so you may want to discard all of it if you feel your wife is sincere about wanting you to improve and to work on the marriage.
Mark, I'm not trying to mean, but frankly I don't see ANYTHING you're doing, WORKING. So what do you have to lose by trying a different approach? Please re-read my post to you from yesterday, and apply that suggested new standard -- the "What is the RIGHT THING to do?" -- to the events of the past 24 hours.
I think you'll come to some different conclusions.
