I, like you have a similar sitch in that my wife is a WAW who shows all the symptoms of a OP/EA though I have not been able to find any proof, but the cold shoulder, anger, no physical contact, sleeping apart are so much the same. My wife also wants to end this as quickly as possible - 15 years and she wants to flush it away as though it did not happen. I suspect a 'special friend' is waiting in the wings and will pop out when the divorce is done so that she does not look bad in front of family and friends.
I am moving out (reluctantly) for the sake of the children and the atmosphere. All the fantastic advice I have received is stored and been used, but she is oblivious to anything I have tried, so I have to take a gamble and see if detaching works, though at the moment she is detaching me. I support your question on whether to detach as I was seen as being neglectful to my wife and by detaching could be seen as 'much of the same'. I do not know what the best strategy is here? Also, by moving out this will give my wife the space she needs to maybe take the EA further (if their is one) to the next level. I hope I am wrong but I can see your sitch is so similar to mine.
Good luck.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
