In desperate need of advice, separation looming!

[steady]

WOM, You have to listen to what she is saying. You are pursuing and that will only push her further away - as evidenced by her behavior after you keep pushing for a talk on communication. She expects you to read her mind and know when she needs help - this is immature, but, and this is a big but, you have to jump in and help even if she doesn't ask. Take a bigger role in taking care of the kids.

And leave her alone. Drop all attempts as trying to talk about anything but household/kid stuff. If she brings up a conversation then go with it - other than that, stop, think, keep your mouth shut.

Your gut is all about fixing the R. So when she gets pissed, your gut tells you to fix what you just damaged (by bringing up the communication 'talk' over and over). If you go in to apologize you're just restarting the loop. So leave it alone.

Don't follow your gut right now. Follow the advice you're being given here and follow your HEAD.