Dear Abby, you asked about the ED problems in men around your H's age. There are different things to consider and his health is a major part. Especially if he is on certain medications. Also, if he went for long periods of time without having sex, I think that is where that old expression comes from...."Use it or lose it". He just needs to talk to his doctor to make sure about the physical part. As far as the OW and being "new".....I believe it does play a tremendous part of the mentality of the sex act. In fact, I can testify to how I was affected just by talking to the OM I had an EA with. So, yeah, I think it could probably get him excited enough b/c of the "newness" of another female.
Not to be a put-down to the men, but it is kind of like the Oprah show I saw a few days ago. I think it was Steve Hardy on there (not sure about his name) but he had written a book about how men see women and he was so funny, but told it like it is. Some women asked very intimate questions about sex, but he answered it and what it all boiled down to was the fact that for "most" men.....if he thinks he stands a chance in getting sex....he will. So, as AmyM advised you, don't get your hopes up too quickly about having good sex at this time.......especially if your H acts distant the next day! That is a red flag (to me) if he does not appear to be closer to you and pulls away the next day as if he is afraid you WILL get the idea that he is over OW.
In the DR book, Michelle says that for some people having sex has a healing affect and that is why I say it is for the individual person to decide if they can do that or not. If you are doing it just b/c it would be a 180.......I would be scared to take a chance of getting STD unless he has been using protection, just to show him you were able to initiate sex with him.
About the doctor suggesting you take AD meds........almost all of them I have tried bring the sex drive down to practically zero except for Wellbutrin and Cymbalta. They aren't quiet as bad. But for gosh sakes don't take Zoloft or Prozac or you will feel like your sex drive has completely died! Now that was "me" and it may not have affected others that way, but every person I have talked to about Zoloft says it killed any sex drive for them.
Take care of yourself, Sandi2
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
