We had a heated discussion late afternoon about my ability to provide for my family, which given the circumstances I did not think I deserved to be chastised for.
As an IT contractor work is either feast or famine, that is the nature of the work. As I have said in previous posts my stress levels would rise when I knew any contract I was in was coming to an end, and this would involve me being moody, miserable and downright negative. My wife would attempt to cheer me up or make suggestions about going to night school to learn another trade to fall back on when work was short, but I never did which was mentioned yesterday. She said I had no "get up and go" but as I write this post it is 7.10am in the morning and I am always in work by 6.50am when I do not start until 8.30am. We do not have any loans apart from the mortgage, the credit card bill and all bills are paid in FULL every month, we drive two cars which are paid for and we have small savings in the bank. We take a skiing holiday every year and spend two weeks in Greece during the summer. I would say we are very lucky to be in this position, but my wife complains about the amount of work she has to do, the extra work she does in the evenings and during the day. She does not feel I provide enough for her so that she can cut down on her hours, which makes me feel quite sad as I am trying to do the best I can. I do not know if this something she can beat me with as another 'reason' for wanting out of the marriage, but I really do not think we do too bad, but my confidence takes a dip especially at the moment when she says things like this. I then get frustrated and try to think of ways to earn more, but I cannot see where at the moment, especially with the credit crunch. My present role finishes tomorrow and I am frantically looking for a new role. Maybe this is why she is disillusioned as the career I have could be construed to her as 'flakey' and not consistent. She has mentioned this many times in the past, but I have not taken heed. I bought some postcards to offer my services as a computer repair man which I will put in shops etc, when I told her this she said "why didn't you do this before". I suppose this could be deemed as a 180 in trying to take some initiative.
Just to let you know we had the first quiet night in a long time, though she did go out. But up to that point there were no discussions about R, the only thing mentioned was child benefit but this conversation was finished with very quickly. I kept a very cheery mood and I said I hoped my wife had a nice evening doing facials, manicures for her friends to earn a bit more extra money.
The one observation I have noticed lately is my wife seems to be letting slip things like the monthly bills. At the beginning of each month I would give her a cheque for the bills etc, and then mid month we would pay the Visa bill. Neither of this things have been addressed by my wife, I can only assume her mind is elsewhere, or she might be trying to see if I am going to mention it and take a little more control.
What do you think?
Last edited by markhaving probs; 03/26/0907:24 AM.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
