Okay I've read up on your sitch and my advice so far would be to not bring it up. Your W is unreachable mentally. She's frustrated about work/kids/the sitch/the sun whatever, and guess what? You're there to be her personal punching bag.
The next time she starts going in and disrespecting you, do what you had been doing by saying that you will not be spoken to like that, then walk away as if she didn't mean anything to you.
W's in MLC are on a very selfish path in which they blame everyone else for their problems. The key is to have them stop seeing you as the cause and to look inward.
Turn the tables on her and get the power in the relationship back. So you are working for her and are the SAH dad. To me that's a far more difficult and satisfying job. Be proud of that. You're not her personal doormat to wipe her crappy feet on. Tell her in a matter of fact way that you will not be treated like that by her anymore and walk away whistling without a care in the world. She's going to accuse you of being the one who doesn't want to communicate and how you're being childish, etc. But guess what? She's describing herself.
Imagine her as one of your kids who can't get a toy they want. They pout, throw a tantrum and try to get your attention. And the less attention you give them, the louder they get. But they stop after awhile and realize that if they want the toy they're going to have to be much nicer. You have the power to mold her behavior by altering yours.
Don't reward her bad behavior by acknowledging it. You apologized for things that happened in the past and lets face it...it took both of you to get where you are now. So you have no reason to feel like you deserve the treatment you're getting and she doesn't have the right to believe she deserves to treat you badly because of the past also.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Also, I would quit that janitor job and find something just for you, maybe you can do a paper route or something. I don't think it is good for her to be your boss. And I get a sense you have a jealousy that she is the bread winner and not you.
I was going to say the EXACT same thing. I don't think this is good for YOU, and I don't think it's good for her issues either.
I then said that's why we need to have a talk about communication, that's all, no relationship talk or anything, just how we can communicate with each other in a healthy way right now.
She began to get more angry at this point, and said no she didn't want to have a talk tonight or right then.
I said ok so when do you want to have a talk, she said I don't know just not right now or tonight. She then said, see this exactly it you are not listening to me . . .
I agree -- you're not. And you're not listening to US, either, when we tell you TO LEAVE HER THE HECK ALONE RIGHT NOW.
Look, ROOT gave you phenomenal advice earlier. I suggest you re-read this:
Quote:
Look closely at what you do and how she reacts. If it pushes you further apart, don't do it. If it seems to make her want to pull closer to you then repeat that.
At this time it sounds to me like she just wants to flee. Which means you have to stop pursing and pull back. It's like when a dog escapes. If you chase after it, it will keep running. If you turn around, and walk the other way, it will sometimes come back to see what you are doing. Although if you've been chasing pretty hard it may take some time before it turns around to see what you are doing.
