The thing with Mrs. Cinco is she is just not a touchy-feely sort of a person. Any kind of physical contact (hugging, kissing, ML) makes her feel smothered. As DQ has pointed out the lack of closeness does not bother her. When she doesn't have it she feels perfectly happy and content. She likes the company of people but touching is invading her space.
I'm sure it has a lot to do with her family life growing up. They just were not a touching family. Even my MIL feels uncomfortable when I give her a hug (she's warming to it though). BIL and his W? I have never seen them touch each other ever. I think they have a platonic M. She has 3 boys from a previous M and they have no children of their own. He has gotten so he'll hug us goodbye when we see them holidays.
Giving a background so you get an idea of what we'd have to work past. To have the intimacy I am wanting she would have to push through this anxiety.
I have been sitting on the fence. My fears stop me short of laying it all out. I have told her were I want for our R to go and she has told me she can't go there. I don't think because of her level of trust in me. She just has no desire to reach higher levels of intimacy. So it is back on me to decide what to do.
Bagheera - I wish so hard that I could find the key that would unlock her passion. I want this more than anything. I will keep searching but I have fears that she is as DQ describes her ex-H. God I hope I am wrong but I can't rule it out as a possibility.
