But she's obviously feeling guilt and shame. I'm pretty sure that she still loves you. It seems obvious to me; otherwise she would just leave and not concern you with any of this.
If you want to succeed; you're going to have to grieve without feeling needy and wimpish toward her at this moment. You need to give her the space to get herself together. Unfortunately this HAS to happen. My W and I rushed back into our M after her A last April and it was disastrous. It made things worse than they already were.
I've been where you are and I am on the other side. Now that my W has had her space to do her own introspection; she's indicated a desire to try and come back. I've done the hard work on me. You have to get yourself to a point where you are happy with yourself and your happiness doesn't depend on "being with" her.
Again, I reiterate; the fact that she's clued you in on her shame and guilt means that she still feels something.
Oh, and the comments about she doesn't deserve you; that's script as well. I heard it from my W.
