H called again tonight. This time I answered. He asked how I was doing and I said good. Then he mentioned that he called me the other weekend and he was going to go to church with me. (Oh, how I would love that, but now that I am writing it I guess he just assumes that I want him to go with me even though he's having an A......What would God want me to do in this situation???)
Anyway, I told him "You didn't leave a message. We already talked about this. When you call and don't leave a message I don't know if you misdialed or what the case is"
(As I was saying all that I thought that maybe I should have just been like "Oh really?" and pretend I didn't know. Best to leave it simple rather than go into long explanations.)
So anyways, we debated about church and religion as he's always struggled with it and still is struggling. He's been going to a different church which I have been to before. If anyone can pray for him, please do. Please open his heart and mind to the Lord.....
After we talked about that he mentioned that he wanted to call and say "Hi" and then went on about how he may be getting a job. Then he started asking me how I was, how my family was, etc. Right after he told me he wanted to call and say "Hi" I was gathering my thoughts for what I wanted to say. So I wasn't really responding to his questions or statements. Finally he asked "What's wrong, did I say something wrong? Did I hurt your feelings?" This is how the rest of the conversation went:
Me: No, you didn't hurt my feelings.
H: Then what's wrong?
Me: H, I just don't know what this conversation is all about. You called to say "Hi" but I told you that I don't want to talk to you while you're having an affair. As much as I miss you and like to talk to you, you're still having an affair.
H: I'm working on it, I've got to straighten some things out.
Me: H, it doesn't take brain surgery to figure out what you need to do. Obviously you don't want to hurt OW, but guess what, you've already hurt your wife.
H: I'm sorry.
Me: Your actions are speaking louder than your words, although you haven't really said much either. You continue to disrespect me. It's showing me where your priorities are. You called to say "Hi" today and then next week you'll call to say "Hi" and then the following week you'll call to say "Hi". And then pretty soon we're back to where we started.
H: Ok, fine then I'll go straighten my life out right now.
Me: It's not about straightening out your life with the snap of the fingers - I realize this can't be done. But it's about respecting me.
H: Fine, I'm sorry I called.
Me: Don't be sorry you've called, be sorry you're not making the choice to respect me.
H: Ok, I'll let you go.
Me: Ok, good bye.
!!!!!!!!!!
I think I did well. Or so I hope. Maybe not as well as I could have, but certainly better than last time we talked on the phone.
Last edited by Belle; 03/26/0912:34 AM.
M:36 H:36 M 3 Y T 8 Y No kids Bomb 6/30/08 PA I filed 9/29/09 D final 1/22/2010
