I have diffeering oppinions now. I think she probablly felt unhappy and thought this was one of the items that was the cause of being unhappy. She has always been one of those people that seeks out that strong romantic stage and thinks it should always be there. However we did last 16 years so something was right. This is one that came up over and over during the years. As I said, I started to not enjoy life and this was one of the problems. It's great when your're young and like the extra money but as you get older it starts to get old and time with your family becomes more important.
But in reflection I have made my list of things I could go back in time and change - and more importantly things that I will carry into the next relationship be it with my wife or someone else....
1. Letting our daughter become too much of a third player in our marriage. Lesson: daughter will grow up and leave, wife needs to be number one
2. Assuming wife knew I loved her and not showing her in the ways she needed (affection, holding hands, romance)
3. Letting our daughter stay up too late and cutting into the time we could ML. (side effect of the long hours and long drive to work)
4. Not having more social activities and fun (couples over for dinner, game night with other couples)
5. Less time on computer...this one is tough because I did this because I didn't like the TV shows she watched. So this goes back to doing things together.
6. Talked better about problems when we had then and apprecaited the fact that people have different perceptions about the same situation.
7. Letting our daughter laying down with us because she was afraid of the dark. Yea I know golden rule of first time parents broken!!
8. giving up my time to nurture male friends (anohter side effect of my schedule and saving all my free time for family)
9. Some common activity with my wife. We use to golf and fish together until daughter was born. Then we stopped and jsut never picked it back up.
10. Sit together on the couch. Not me at one end and her at the other because that's where we could set our drinks down on the end tables (ARGH!)
It really comes down to managing a child into our marriage better and making sure in some way my wife knew how I felt - not just taking it for granted that she did.
Now that said, your question a ways back, "do I want to get back together with my wife?" When this first started it was 'at all costs'. Now I realize that she would need to change some things also before it would work.
Ironic but there is a thread where people are listing books that have helped or they liked and would suggest. I have read a lot and the one thing I can't get out of my head is - I wish I would have read these 2 years ago
