sweepsr....Yes honestly, I always loved my ex-h even when I was cheating.
But here is the bottom line: I needed him to get a back bone and not be a chump. I needed him to stand up to me, stand up for himself, and be a MAN. I'm not blaming him for my A's. I blame myself 100%. But I was like a spoiled child. You can't just sit and watch a child throw a tantrum and then expect the child to learn to stop throwing tantrums. They have to be shaken out of their tantrum and shown that this behavior is not acceptable. When children are throwing a tantrum, they don't WANT to be feeling horrible like that. They WANT to be shown how to handle their own emotions and develop some coping skills. Just letting them have their tantrum and get their way teaches them that they are supposed to freak out and lose control. What else could they learn?
Similar with people who love us. We teach them how to treat us. Unfortunately, you have taught your wife that she will always be able to bulldoze right over the top of you and you will not only allow it but rescue her. She has to have respect for you in order to stop her cheating.
Please don't feel worthless. That is part of the problem. You must understand your own worth, or how will SHE ever understand it? You need to find out how to develop good boundaries and self-esteem. IF YOU DO THOSE THINGS, she might find her attraction for you again.
Read lots of books, starting with No More Mr. Nice Guy.
