She talked about why she set out on her destructive pattern. I have no way of even knowing if any of that was true; but I just listened and validated. What she said is of no consequence because it doesn't justify what she did and she admitted that it didn't. She said that she realizes that what she wanted was not making her happy.
Alright, Tom, I want you to understand how big I think this is. For me. I lied for a long time about the affairs. Then I admitted to them and for a time that was it. Counseling helped me figure out the reasons. You are right that there is no justification. 100%, I totally agree. But *I* think the huge thing here is that she is willing to talk about it with you. And even though it's not justified, you DO need to understand what got her to that place, so that you can do everything within YOUR power to make dang sure she doesn't go down it again. She may hang some of this one on you. But you can make FOR SURE that she can't hang ANY of the next one on you. The next one will be ALL totally her problem.
I think this is a huge step and didn't want you to lose sight of it. Time will tell of course if she is being honest, but I think she is. Otherwise, what is the purpose of opening up not just YOUR old hurts, but all of HER old hurts, insecurities, and shame, too.
Good job, bub. Happy for you.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
