Hi Miss H I know I dont post to you much but I have read your posts for awhile and have felt for you. My x is much like yours as done mean and nasty things that have gone beyond what I could comprehend. To top it off we also have two boys more grown than yours and one got disabled ( brain damage ) from drugs after being a near perfect son, needless to say h went off the deep end and as basically what i call abondaned this son but not the other one, trying to be the fun disney Dad, etc...so many dynamics and to me the worse part of all of this was not about the really mean things he did to me it was watching him favor one son over the other....just to give you some back ground.....and also just went throught finalizing an almost 2 year divorce and this is 4 years post bomb, 3 years seperated with ow and the whole deal......I too recently just thought I cant take anymore...he is nothing but a creep with a capital C....and I worried am I becoming one of those bitter women...when really i feel hurt beyond belief...anyway I also have attended support through midlife.com and earlier this week someone who has been through marriage restoration recommended this book called , "Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace..now if you are like me you might be thinking forget it Im not even his wife anymore....and while I havent read it yet, the lady recommended this for anyone who is seperated or divorced too. Here are some things she shared In Martha's book, she says that she has counseled many wives and they have told her they were not bitter, they were, however, "hurt". Martha said she would gently explain to them that the emotions of feeling "hurt" and "resentful" are usually how you feel when you are bitter. There are several common signs of bitterness. I am planning on ordering this book. I just want to survive this not as a bitter woman and I also want Gods best for my life and my boys. As I have read through your posts I sense that about you....this is not the life you can even believe has happened, but somehow we have got to make it and not just survive it...be a model for our boys.....anyway I just wanted to pass this suggestion on to you....as it doenst matter that you are not his wife now, this is about you and that you dont want to be that bitter person....otherwise he will still have power over you.....just wanted to share in case your interested. Take Care and wisdhing you the best.
