OK, trying not to call Dan to figure this one out. Input desired!
Dan and I had talked about setting up counseling for Nathan. He was going to get a referral from his counselor that he (Dan) has been seeing.
Well, that never came to pass...trips to Canada, etc have interrupted his counseling and I guess he can't/won't call her for a referral or he doesn't trust her judgement, I don't know.
Anyway I sent a text 10 days ago when Dan was in Canada that I was going to look for a counselor for Nathan b/c he had been up crying in the night again.
He replied back that he hated being gone and felt 2" tall, etc etc
Then he said I was prob right about the counselor b/c we need to know what the issues are.
My response was "I told you Friday what the biggest issues are. He wants his parents together and he misses us being a family and you living with us. He still believes we will get back together but we haven't and so he is upset. And you know i am not saying that to make you feel bad it is just the reality of the situation."
His reply back was, "I know".
That was the crappy weekend when Nathan told me he cries in his bed at night sometimes b/c he misses his dad ad he wants us to live together.
So anyway I haven't set anything w/a counselor yet. I am not sure if this should just be child counseling or family counseling or both, or what. So when I look should i be looking up a child counselor or a family counselor or both?
Dan has said many times he 'hopes' or 'prays' we will get back together or he is 'trying to figure out how to make it work', etc etc
But bottom line is he has bought his own house, even though he says he hopes it will be for both of us, he bought it himself and he doesn't live with us, he lives with his mom. So I guess I just explain the situation to the counselor? The tricky part to me is that we haven't made a firm decision to reconcile or to divorce and so Nathan doesn't know what to expect.
And I have just told him that I too hope we can live together again one day. I would set him straight and say it will never happen if that was the decision, or tell him mom and dad are working on it if we were, which is what I had been telling him before his dad moved out again.
But the 'up-in-the-air' thing is making this harder than I thought.
So, thoughts? Do I just get a child counselor for Nathan and then if they want to talk to Dan and I for background or input they will? No clue how this works...
