Okay, since you're in. when you two talk, do you think you enjoy it to get a daily "fix" of him, or vice versa?
The reason I ask is because if you really want to get him back, you've got to continue to stay dark. He hasn't had a chance to miss you yet. You were doing totally awesome before about no contact.
I would say that you would have to keep contact to an absolute minimum for at least 3 weeks.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks stuck, So when u say no contact for 3 weeks, does that mean me not initiating or me ignoring all calls and texts for 3 weeks? He is suppose to let me know when to update the checkbook about once a week, and I asked him to text/email that info, hoping that way it would limit him to only calling me if he wanted to.
It used to be a "fix" for me, but not anymore. 5 days can pass without me hearing anything from him and I don't think of it so much anymore like I used to. I just remind myself to not pick up that phone or I might ruin my progress.
So what do u think I should about tomorrow? I would feel like a complete jerk if I didn't at least text a happy bday or something. I'd like to not be that cold hearted lol..what do u think?
I'm not getting him anything for sure (I was always the one making all the plans on special occasions and buying him gifts when I wouldn't even get a card from him in return in the past).
I was thinking of offering dinner to him, but I don't know if that would be taking it too far
Thanks stuck, So when u say no contact for 3 weeks, does that mean me not initiating or me ignoring all calls and texts for 3 weeks? He is suppose to let me know when to update the checkbook about once a week, and I asked him to text/email that info, hoping that way it would limit him to only calling me if he wanted to.
It used to be a "fix" for me, but not anymore. 5 days can pass without me hearing anything from him and I don't think of it so much anymore like I used to. I just remind myself to not pick up that phone or I might ruin my progress.
So what do u think I should about tomorrow? I would feel like a complete jerk if I didn't at least text a happy bday or something. I'd like to not be that cold hearted lol..what do u think?
I'm not getting him anything for sure (I was always the one making all the plans on special occasions and buying him gifts when I wouldn't even get a card from him in return in the past).
I was thinking of offering dinner to him, but I don't know if that would be taking it too far
You should definitely offer him a happy birthday but no gift or card. Keep it short and sweet. Don't ask him about his plans, etc. It will be very tough, but keep with the detaching route.
In terms of the three week thing...just do what you were doing before in terms of just staying busy and if he calls to talk, keep the conversations strictly business and when it starts getting too friendly, say you have to go and that's it. Always be the one to cut off the conversation.
Then play it by ear. After the three weeks or longer, you can call to talk to him about something, then offer to meet him for coffee at a later date. Something small. No lunch and definitely not dinner. Then when you meet him, you show him your hottest self. After three weeks, he'll start forgetting the little things that made you attractive. You can even flirt a little and be playful but don't give in. It's the idea that the person who wants the R the least is the one with the power. So make like you've been doing great without him. Then go from there.
I hope that makes sense.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Yes it makes perfect sense! Thank you so much. I will work on this and let you know how it goes. I really appreciate you taking the time stuck! I sometimes get lost and not sure where to go next. I feel like I have a "re-focus" now.
I called, kept it brief, he seemed very appriciative and kept saying thank u.I didn't ask of his plans and I didn't offer any plans either. He was in a good mood and seemed happy I called (especially since I never call him anymore haha)
This is a hard day for me. It feels so weird to not be doing something or planning something nice for him but I can do it. I'm going to try to keep myself busy tonight.
