WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[MrBond]

In the case of how to show compassion from the conversation last night. The only thing I think you could have done is listened to her a little more. But you are only human and the feelings and frustrations have been building in you for awhile from your W's mixed signals. Every now and then those emotions come out and last night they did. What's done is done. Just when the opportunity presents itself, go back to listening a little more to her.

I disagree with AN when he says that you hadn't seen things through her eyes. Through all the weeks of therapy and talks and interactions, I say that you were more than understanding to where she's coming from. However, her problem is the past. And we can't change that. There's only so much validating you can do before it gets to the point where you find out that this person needs to stop blaming me for all of their problems and move on.

This is classic MLC script.

I always find it interesting how the next morning the two of you act as if there was nothing wrong. I would maybe ask her how she's doing and apologize for anything inappropriate you might have said last night. Then see if she does also. If she doesn't, then she'll have moved on in her head and might be thinking that it still is all your fault.