Carlos,

I think you have very eloquently captured the feelings that surround memories. I understand what you mean about wishing they were more like mirrors, but here is a thought - mirrors can distort reality, letting us see what we want and ignore what we do not want to see. I submit that memories actually do share one very important thing in common with mirrors - us, the viewer. I think both mirrors and memories can be either relatively accurate or distorted based on the beholder.

I think part of the problem is that we are left looking at shared memories without the person who helped us make the memories. One of life's reality checks is having another person who shared the event recall it with us. I think it makes our task that much more difficult because we have to find a way, through the sadness, to make ourselves see what really happened and how things really were.

I was talking with a friend the other day he asked me if I felt bitter or cynical after all of this. My response was that I do not but that I no longer believe statements and proclamations of undying love. I swear this relates to your post. ;\) It is better to always stay in the present, I think. So, whatever we have today, whatever we are today, whoever loves us today, however much - that's it. It is our responsibility to make that enough for ourselves. Our salvation lies our being present in the present moment.

Here is how this relates to memories, while it is inevitable to face them and to have them resurface, I think we have follow your advice from an earlier post - be very zen-like with them, acknowledge their presence but do not dwell on them. If we do that, we minimize the risk of distorting them in either a good or bad direction and we do not grant them power over our present. Not to say this is what you are doing. Your post does not make it sound as though you are dwelling at all.

Hope that did not feel like a hijacking - did not mean for it to end up that way. Your words struck a chord with me based on some things I have been experiencing today and seemed like a good place to remind us all to stay focused on the present.

I hope you are well, Carlos.

V.

VV:41