"As for the text if in doubt do nowt!" - Naej - Ali has too-ed and fro-ed with contacting her ex a lot over the past months - I'm sure that if she is any doubt - she won't!!!
Ali- I've never ever seen you take a half- hearted step...although you've played out all sorts of scenarios here and like I've said before - you've put up lots on this board for all to chew over and share with you - and I admire you immensely for that, sometimes that can obscure your true intentions and actions as we become wrapped up in the possibilities!
But I wouldn't for a minute suggest that you do anything different! Some of this is stuff us very interested bystanders have to learn to deal with!
I'm pretty confident in saying - we're all with you - every step of the way!!! So long Ali - that you have a plan to deal with all eventualities...
BTW - it was the "not overthinking" things that struck me as the key this time!
Now - I hope that hasn't got you over-thinking things!!!
Thanks MrsM.. I've never heard of that one! I need to get myself prepared for the next R...
Hey Naej, no, he has no laptop or b/berry, just his work mobile on site. He's a geologist, not a businessman, ha! He hasnt checked his emails yet, I bet, so was kind of an unfortunate week for me to take the brave step of emailing him asking him to meet up.. as now he has the perfect excuse to ignore it ! (probably legitimately). Yes I'm going back to my hometown to see my parents and my oldest friends!
Thanks Simon, yes, at this stage, I may as well just do as my wise ole Mum keeps telling me, just do whatever you want to do, think of yourself now, do what feels right in your heart.. if you want to text/email/phone, just do it. But.. I picked the wrong week hey! So I still dont know whether to text him.
I've woken up for a few days with this feeling, he's gone, its almost too late, he's left it too long even if he is having doubts..I know he is incredibly slow to decide/act emotionally anyway, thats in his makeup, but this is really dragging on. And you know what hurts the most? Not that he is seeing her really, but that he wont see me. He just wont see me, yet he can email, phone and send me presents, but he hasnt seen me since before Christmas. Thats unnacceptable to me now.
My (wise ole Mum) reckons its a measure of him still having feelings/being undecided that he wont, or cant see me, that he doesnt trust himself for how would be and 'cant face' seeing me. I suspect that too (I wouldnt if he wasnt still contacting me/sending me thoughtful gifts, I would assume he just didnt want to see me)..
That is so interesting on the 2 bras. I am so trying that tonight!!
On the meet up with BF - Personally I wouldn't text, I would just chill. You know the reason he is not replying. If he doesn't reply in time, he will eventually and then you can rearrange. If he apologises just say 'no worries, you knew he was on site'.
Hi Ali, maybw he won't see you because he doesn't want to hurt you and give false hope-even though he contacts you via email and text and sends thoughtful gifts. I know!! but to his mind this may make sense. It is not so much the meeting up but the going separate ways afterwards, he will know how that will affect you. Maybe he just doesn't trust himself not to take you in his arms and beg forgiveness. Maybe he can text, email ,gift etc without g/f knowing but there is always a chance someone may see you together and it will get back to her. Not sure how all those maybe's fit in with you not being given his address or ph number. Too many maybe's to know the real reason, so get on with the " I finally detached!?ing" and see what happens. Be sure to enjoy your time away. I seen to remember you saying end of May/June before things are clear so a while to go yet.
I am still not getting the 2 bra thing do you need one bigger than the other to fit over the first? I shall have to go try that "look" out,being at the back of the queue when they handed out chests!lol.
Gees.....I had totally lost your thread Al! Caught up now.
IMO, he probably isn't going to contact you about meeting up tomorrow. Not because he doesn't want to or is avoiding you, just because he's not in his office and has no email access at the jobsite. So.......no big deal, right? Right? Can I hear a "right"?
Love the flirty guy at the restaurant! What a PMA boost! I personally would have fallen over stammering if any man flirted as openly with me as that guy did with you. Too bad you didn't get his number or just casually slip him yours along with the bill. Oh well.......next time, right?
Hope your evening is fab!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey girls..hey Mish, yes I agree Julia, good point, just chill .. he should know he needs to meet up with me to sign stuff! And yes Neaj, all of what you said is probably true! Except the begging forgiveness bit. I think he thinks its 'ok' to send me friendly bantering emails and presents, but meeting up with me would be too much, as he said to BMF it "wouldnt be right". I dont know, maybe he doesnt want to upset her as much as he doesnt want to upset me?
Found out today they ARE only getting a valuation done and not a full survey..woohoo! Fools!
In other news.. I'm seeing a good friend tommorow, then Cher in the evening for bandnight (if ex doesnt reply), then train home Friday and seeing BFF & H Friday night, another friend Saturday for shopping, then seeing W of ex's oldest BMF on Saturday night for drinkies, seeing family Sunday, my oldest BFF & sis all day Monday and then getting my haircut Tuesday before me and Mum and Dad come back to Cornwall for a few days holiday. Phew !
I have to go check out our 'marital' house back home, as the tenant said some lights are broken. I didnt even bother telling ex about it, he never mentions the house anyway (except he told BMF recently how much he misses it!). It will be wierd going there, as I havent been inside since we were a couple, nearly 2 years ago now.
Hey Al, you do sound like you have a lot in your agenda. Does that mean we wont be able to chat while your parents are there or do I get to talk to them too? LOL xxxx K
Hi K !!.. what you doing online, on your public holiday, wheres H !? Ahh.. my Dad would love to chat to you! They've heard all about you too, so yes, you can talk to them, hehe, they'd like that.
I have got a lot on, which is good as I have been feeling lonely today (havent seen anyone since Friday). I found a lovely sweet cottage to rent today.. feels wierd, the thought of signing a 6 month lease for just me and the cat.. I'm not sure I am quite ready for that, thinking alone, making plans alone, I'm not even sure where I will be working from July! Its much nearer the beach though, but is between where ex and Helen work and she lives.. 10 mins drive in either direction! I'm going to go take a look tommorow.
Well its the New Moon today. I was hoping to see my ex, but he didnt reply to the email and I still dont feel brave enough to text him. Its just tough I guess, the paperwork will have to wait.
The north node (our 'true destiny') is about to exactly conjunct my Venus (which only happens once every 19 years) and is hugely significant. You can look back to when it last transited the same place about 19 years ago. It was around late May 1990 - when I experienced love at first sight for the first time (and most profoundly) and was exact around 6 June - when we first met for a lunch date and knew we were in love by the end of the hour (this was my first love and a part of me will love him till I die!)
I've actually never realised this before! So I've got high hopes! Its exact around now and next week.
Also, and if the North Node is in my First, the South is in my 7th house.. "The South Node shows what we need to release of the old self in order to grow. Moving through the 7th, it will be old ways of looking at relationships, and may even be some old relationships that will be let go."
Hmm.. but I have really totally transformed how I see R's and how I behave in them and how I want to behave in the future, so that is very fitting of SNode through the 7th - letting go of bad habits that prevent me reaching my 'higher destiny' in terms of relationships. Just need to find a man to practice on now!!
